Archives for December 2014

December 11, 2014

The Wrong Side of 40

I dreaded turning 40. Although the majority of my friends had already reached this milestone without incidence (some even 50), they looked great; their interests remained the same and they hadn’t traded in their vehicle for a beige sedan (or a red corvette), I just couldn’t see myself there, it just felt like it was too old for me. I’m not sure why I felt that I should be the exception to the aging process and really remain 39 forever, but I did.

My late 30’s were a tumultuous time. I quietly said good-bye to long time friends who really weren’t friends, was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, went back to school, avoided confrontation, ran a marathon, found the bad girls, took shit, fell in love with New Zealand sauvignon blancs, had my heart broken, rediscovered my love for writing and rode the roller coaster of family life. Looking back, now I realize why I didn’t sleep much.

The mayhem continued to mount in the month leading up to my 40th birthday.

The moment everything came crashing down, I’m not sure if the world went so quiet that I could hear my heart beating or if my heart was beating so loudly that it drowned out the noise around me, nonetheless it was one of those defining moments that well… defined. According to Dr. Phil, we have ten of these in our lifetime, one was elegant sufficiency thank-you.

My Dad once told me “Love, you are never given any more than you can handle” and I have always believed that until that moment. When it rains, it pours, life comes at you hard sometimes. I had always looked at 40 as a death sentence, but after many tears and a great deal of soul searching on my kitchen floor, it was going to be a turning point for me.   I also decided that I wasn’t only going to embrace 40, I was going to rock it! A new decade meant a new chapter and why the hell not, you’ve got to carry on.

December 2, 2014

Stay tuned…