Archives for June 2015

June 27, 2015

Carrying On

There has been a huge amount of change in my camp since the beginning of the year. After 16 years of working for the same employer my husband handed in his resignation. It came as a pretty big shock to most, not only was he leaving a secure job, he wasn’t going to work for a competitor, he was going to do something entirely different. The decision was an extremely well thought out but scary as hell. Given our stage of life it was a pretty bold move to make, but if he was going to do it, there was no better time.

Perhaps him shaking up his world spurred me on to make some changes myself. I was already knee-deep working on a diploma in Applied Nutrition, personal training as well as teaching classes from before sunup until well after sundown, had just birthed Keri On and I was starting to struggle to find balance in my life. I have always loved schedule and structure in my day, but over the past few years have realized that every hour doesn’t need to be allocated, you have to go with the flow and sometimes you have to let shit go.

I know that I can’t do everything, and learning to be ok with it has been strangely empowering for me. In order for me to have more flexibility, I needed to give some things up and chose to end my contract with Parks Leisure Services at the end of Spring. After meeting with the powers that be, I was excited that nothing would change for my instructors as another fitness company absorbed my Pilates and Body Camp programs, however the running programs would sadly come to an end.

The people I run with on Saturday morning aren’t clients, they are family. Together we have run through life’s torrential downpours as well as beautiful sunshine and all that is good in life. We run on Saturday morning, it’s what we do. I dreaded my last running clinic. I woke up early with a knot in my stomach and second guessed my decision.   I sat at my kitchen counter with tears running down my face, trying to eat my toast and put my thoughts into words as my husband and daughter watched with uncertainty. There are two things that you shouldn’t attempt to do when you are bawling uncontrollably, the first is run, it always ends in hyperventilating, the second is eat toast.

There was really nothing that anyone could say or do at that point to comfort me or to reassure me that I in fact had made the right decision. But when 8 o’clock came and I got in my car with my running gear on and went one way, and they got in my husband’s truck with their suitcases and my daughter’s ball gear and went the other way, I knew it was the only thing to do.

Following our last formal run together my running family, and I am talking family from years gone by too, surprised me with a farewell tailgate party. Completely overwhelmed with all of the photos, gifts and kind words I ugly cried my way through the event as well as the rest of the day. Inside one of the gift bags that they had given me was a jar filled with notes that sat unopened on my desk until yesterday. Once again the flood gates opened.

I had a wonderful informal run with the gang last week, ran like I hadn’t in years. But this morning I opted for an early morning run to beat the heat. By noon I had already picked up coffees, made breakie for my fam, took Stanley out for a walk across the ridge, showered and blow dried my hair and was on the road. While I missed my weekly catch-up with everyone, it was sure nice to have the flexibility to skip out, but I will see you all next week.